The way He looked at me
by SodapopGirl17
Summary: An angsty original piece I wrote about a lost young man I fell for.


**Hello lovelies. **  
><strong>This is an original story I wrote from a life experience I had a few days ago. I could tell you the whole story of how this situation came to be, but the story would span into an epic novel, matching the Harry Potter series and span over the course of two years. I just wanted to get this out of my head. No one in my personal life knows about this or what is happening, I feel like I'll go crazy if I dont get it out somehow!<br>If any of my wonderful readers from my story, 'Stars may Burn' are here let me know what you think!**  
><strong>So read on, and if you can relate I would love to hear from ya'll in the comments or PM me!<strong>

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><p>Count six seconds in your head. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. . . Count that all the way to six without pausing. In those mere six seconds, the amount of emotion that can flicker across someone's face is incredible.<p>

At first He looked at me like He didn't even know me . . . Like He didn't even recognise me. Those first two seconds seemed like the longest. Granted, I was drunk, blind drunk. And He was high on God knows what sort pill. It's a sad day when everyone you know, good and bad, smart and dumb, every person you went to school with and now work with are doing party pills on weekends. I know that this isn't drugs. I know they don't make Him act like this. I know all they do for Him is keep Him awake and highly alert.

But besides that those first two seconds felt like a life time. I walked out to the smoker's area. And I saw Him, sitting amongst the school of people, the noise bouncing around the colossal area like waves against rocks. Cigarette dangling from His finger's.

And when I saw Him, I stopped short like a dog on a leash. I was completely oblivious to even the thought of him been there.  
>My first reaction was to smile like a kid waking up on Christmas morning. But when I saw the way He was looking at me, I felt that slip away like the dream every eighteen year old has of becoming a lawyer or surgeon and the stark reality of becoming a burger flipper hits them.<p>

His eyes were empty and void of any emption, like I was a stranger. Like a year and half of been best friends, of spending every second of every day together had never happened. Like the past complex eight months between us had never happened? I'm not sure why, but that hurt that most. We were together Wednesday night and Thursday morning. It was only Friday! Why didn't he seem to recognise me?

I looked back and opened my mouth which had become dry as dust to say something, anything but I clamped it shut again. What could I say? What should I say? The feeling of uncertainty settled in the pit of my stomach like lead and I swayed on my feet for a second as I looked at his blue eyes burning into my own.  
>The first two seconds ended, and the four began, and with that came time for the shock. That bloody shock. His eyes widened as he took me in for the first time. I felt like I was a fucking celebrity the way He was looking at me right then, and not in a good way. It was like He hadn't expected to see me. And maybe He hadn't, but it felt like there was more to it than that. He looked like a fourteen year old who'd just walked in on their parents making out. Like he was doing something wrong and had been caught out.<p>

My heart began to pound in my chest like a jack hammer against dry cement. He recognised me, but why wasn't he saying anything? Why were his eyes so wide? Why couldn't I bring myself do anything but stand there like a bump on a log looking back at him? And why wasn't there any happiness in the shock in His eyes?  
>And then the fifth second came. He bought His cigarette to his lips. I watched as He took a drag, blowing the smoke in the air as it twisted and curled and spined in the air like a ghost. And in that time, His eyes hardened. They didn't move from my own as they turned to stone and my stomach went cold. He'd never looked at me that way before and thinking about now it still chills me to my core.<p>

It wasn't in His body language. His fists didn't clamp together, His body didn't stiffen. He didn't frown or even straighten his back. It was all in his eyes. The way those normally comically eyes turned blank and cold and mean made me feel as if I was the enemy. Like I was crossing come sort of invisible, unspokenboundary. But I couldn't find it in myself to do anything about it. I wanted to know what He was thinking. What I had done. God damn it, I wanted to grab Him and shake Him and scream at Him until my throat was raw. What the hell was His problem? But I couldn't. I was frozen like sculpture.

Something inside my mind clicked on though, and felt my own wrath and bitterness hit me. I'd done nothing wrong. And two can play this game.  
>Behind Your eyes, I can see what no one else can. Behind the mask and the games and the drugs I've always been able to see You. And I see the desperation and fearfulness. But how dare You turn it around on me because You know I can see it.<p>

So I did what I didn't want to do out of pride. I let my eyes slip past Him to my group of friends sitting just a few meters from him. I acted like I didn't even see Him. As if He was never there, and continued to drift past him. Just like a stranger.

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><p><strong>So let me know what you think, if you liked it, hated it, if you've ever had or are going through something like this. I'd love to hear from you all so chuck us a review, or even a PM if you just want to chat and let some of your angst out from an un-objective third party!<strong>**  
><strong>That's all for now, ta ta my lovelies.<strong>**

****-Fee xx****


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